Sunday, July 24, 2005

Surface City :: IRIS

3

Brennus Adel sat in his lavish office at the height of his career. The velvet lined, high backed chair was his perch, but his seat was the CEO and Founder of IRIS. Once it was a small division nestled gently under the careful, nurturing arm of its parent company GenCorp, IRIS grew quickly to become the leader in human genetic modifications. Even so far as to break away from it’s womb and compete on a relatively admirable level with GenCorp. IRIS stood out from its competitors by providing a complete alteration to the human genome of unborn children, at a price of course. Simple alterations like eye or hair colour and physical specifications had been practiced by a number of companies for years, but always on fully adult and mature beings. Tampering with unborn children had been a social taboo in the early days of genetic modifications, IRIS’ propaganda with the help of the waning power of religion had seen to ushering that idea out of the populace’s feeble minds. Not only could the basics of appearance be calculated and altered only several weeks after conception, IRIS promised its customers the academic and social success of their children. It was with this promise and a warlike front of advertising that IRIS was able to build its position as one of the top companies in the field of genetic modifications.

The comm-line on Brennus’ metallic desk chirped itself to life as his secretary’s voice beamed into his office. “Good afternoon Mr. Adel, I’m just informing you that your two o’clock appointment has arrived and is waiting to see you,” the secretary’s sunny disposition was the chief reason why he’d kept her around so long. The fact that she was an excellent assistant didn’t matter at all, it was vastly important for IRIS to project a friendly public face as Brennus was known to be a stern businessman.

“Thank you Ms. Fitzgerald, please see her in.” He sat back and keyed the comm-line into the off position. This was going to be a very important meeting and he wanted absolutely no interruptions. Adel turned his chair to face the double doors leading out of his office. The doors slid swiftly and silently apart as Ms. Fitzgerald guided his appointment into the room. He gazed for a moment, seemingly stuck in a dream; she was striking, wearing a taut black bodysuit that complimented her womanly curves. The woman’s long black hair was pulled tightly back and braided into a long tail. Her pale skin was set off against her full scarlet lips and firm facial features. Brennus’ eyes roamed her cool exterior like a hungry shark intent on its next meal, but he restrained himself; he of all people knew that as vastly beautiful as this woman was, she was twice as lethal.

“Bonjour Monsieur Adel,” the woman’s voice cut through the moments of silence that followed her entrance, she was used to people being stunned when she entered a room and even though Mr. Adel was her employer and had met her on many occasion, she was somewhat surprised at his expression of lust upon her entrance. Brennus faced his assistant and gave her a subtle nod to indicate that she would not be needed further, she thus departed back to her duties and the doors slid closed behind her. He returned to meet the woman in black’s piercing stare and smiled widely.

“Welcome back to IRIS Lyonette,” he offered her a chair and she sat, her poise was graceful yet he knew she remained on guard at all times. “I trust, of course, that your business in Hladir went accordingly?” Brennus knew the answer already from the news reports or course, small talk was just another method in business to test the other party, regardless of the fact that Lyonette had never shown loyalty to anyone but IRIS, but there was no reason to get careless.

She responded concisely as always, Brennus delighted in hearing her voice with its French undertones and subtle sensuality that she projected, “Of course Monsieur Adel, ze President was most cooperative during ze negotiations.” Glorious, she was indeed the perfect person to have handled the job, even in private conference with the one who had given her the order, she never allayed that she had in fact killed the president of Frost Worth Enterprises. In Brennus’ mind she was the perfect dispatcher, a superb individual to carry out, to the letter, any of IRIS’ more sinister dealings. The president of Frost Worth Enterprises had been secretly funding a group that was attempting to gain support in the CORE and Government Inc. for regulation of prenatal gene modifications. Brennus couldn’t have that, so he had sent Lyonette to terminate the problem. Now without a source of funding, the group would dry up quickly and all of the voices in the CORE would return to debating the issues that were in Government Inc.’s best interests, like union deregulations and the like.

“Good,” he replied, there was a genuine cause for celebration tonight, but he was focused on dispatching Lyonette on her next assignment. “Lyonette, do you remember the business with the ‘Les Enfants Vides’ project that took place four years ago?” He watched carefully for her reaction but she merely nodded her affirmation. Slightly disappointed, Brennus continued his explanation, “We’ve recently uncovered a terrible mistake that we need corrected immediately. One of sources indicated that someone outside of IRIS has knowledge of the endeavor. Do you have any idea what would happen if this project was exposed to the media? To Government Inc.?” He gauged her reaction again, again she merely nodded, her attitude was one of disdain. He knew that she wished he would just cut straight to the point so she could get on with her task. Brennus didn’t care to afford her that luxury, she worked for him, and her time belonged to him. In essence he felt a bit of possession towards her, he owned her life, and he lusted after her soul, despite his better judgments. She was much too deadly to be tamed for a lover, and much too dangerous to his reputation.

“This one won’t be as easy; we need him extracted carefully and quietly. It will be all too easy for this to go awry and slap us in the face, so I want your utmost attention devoted to this, we cannot afford any slips here. As always the full resources of the company are at your complete disposal, I suggest you use them as needed. The target’s name is Trix Tremor, find out what he knows and bring him in, I want this assignment completed within the month. You know who he is and his position, if he indeed knows too much it could be fatal to the future of this company! Maintain discretion.” Brennus sat back into his chair, it was easy to bark orders, seeing that they were completed was another matter. His corporate spies would ensure that Lyonette did as she was told.

“It iz my duty to serve ze company Monsieur Adel. Your wishes will be carried out with all ze speed of God behind me.” Lyonette affirmed her orders even though Brennus knew she would not refuse, lethal as she was, loyalty seemed to be high on her honour list.

“Ms. Fitzgerald will have all of the information you need Lyonette. IRIS once again thanks you for your loyalty, good luck with the assignment. As usual, any further attempts to contact myself or other executives will be useless; your job is not officially sanctioned or recognized by our company.” Same old drama, he imagined that every single CEO in Surface City and perhaps the world had delivered that same spill to each and every one of their own shadow agents.

“D’accord Monsieur, au revoir.” Lyonette stood, gave a small bow and proceeded to leave Brennus’ office. He gave her a quick nod goodbye before she turned away from him, informing his secretary to accommodate Lyonette’s needs accordingly.

From the wooden cased, satin-lined humidor on his massive desk he pulled out a sweet smelling cigar and prepared for a quick relaxation before a return to the normal corporate activities of his life. Brennus smiled to himself as he lit up the hefty cigar; this matter would be at a conclusion sooner rather then later, and as for Lyonette, it would likely be her last assignment; she was getting far to knowledgeable to keep around. The secrets about IRIS made her vastly more powerful then Brennus, before too long she would come to realize that and Brennus would be in trouble. Well, he wasn’t going to let that happen, no. This would be her last task.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

I hate brown people.

So, I walked into a Mac's convienence store this evening to buy a pack of cigarettes, and of course behind the counter at any Mac's you'll find an asian person who doesn't speak english any better then an infant. These people happened to be of eat indian descent.

I asked for a pack, they ask for ID, so I figured, 'Yeah, that's fine, the age to buy is 19 and I'm 20.' No problem there eh? Wrong. Apparently my health card (which I've been using for the past two years as ID to get into bars and buy cigarettes with) isn't good enough anymore. New government regulations or something, whatever. SO I whip out my birth certificate, a document that was issued twenty years ago several weeks after I was BORN!

Unfortunately this stupid fuck can't seem to understand common sense, so we ended up arguing in front of his store full of customers, and the guy behind me in line trys to explain to the stupid brown shit that a birth certificate is valid fucking ID! He tells me I need a driver's liscense or a passport and I tell that retarded douche that a fucking birth certificate is what you need to get a fucking driver's liscense or passport!!!

This guy's just to damned stupid from licking camel asses all day that I left, that's the end of that store, no more business for him. Listen you stupid cocksucker, you don't come to my fucking country and tell me how old I am. Go back to fucking Pakistan so our southern cousins can kill you.

Saturday, July 9, 2005

Worth1000.com

Well, in an effort to work on my photoshopping skills, I've begun entering a number of contests over at Worth1000.com. Still working on trying to win something, in fact over there I'm considered a noob, really need to brush up so I can get me some nice prizes. A faster computer would help with that and a WACOM tablet, but money would also help in getting those items. Anyways, if you're over on Worth1000.com look me up, my username over there is PudgyMoogle of course.

Here's a recent contest image:


Entrants were asked to photoshop this image entitled 'Caddie' in anyway they saw fit. So of course I immediately though of a Cadillac, and over a few hours I put on in. Have a look:


Let me know what you think!

Tuesday, July 5, 2005

Nintenjol

The new Nintendo Revolution is about as sexy as Angelina Jolie, that gives me an idea.

Jolie Wallpaper

Enjoygasm!

Monday, July 4, 2005

Happy Independence Day

Well July the Fourth happens to be the United States of America's birthday, so I just wanted to wish all of my southern cousins a happy and safe holiday. Just one question though, when do the arab-americans get their independence from the unconstitutional Patriot Act?



Hope this will give you a better time then you had in 1996!

Sunday, July 3, 2005

An Open Letter to Bob Geldof

Dear Sir Geldof,

It has come to my attention that you are the sole being responsible for trying to end poverty on our little planet Earth. While this is certainly a commendable goal, I find your methods to be hypocritical and highly dubious. Here are a few questions that I'd like to have answered
  1. Your slogan is 'MakePovertyHistory', how much did it cost to pay the advertising executives to come up with it?
  2. Of your amassed £30 Million, how much did you contribute to aid World Hunger?
  3. If African debt is relieved and aid increases, what do we do about the corrupt governments? The revolutions?
  4. Why were there only two African-born performers in the main concerts? Should the poverty stricken nations of Africa not be allowed a chance to "help themselves"?
  5. Don't you think that it would be better to give third world countries a hand up rather then a hand out?
  6. Will all of the increased profits through record sales that the various artists receive by taking part in this "world changing" event be given to the poorest among us as well?
  7. Where did the money for the $3000 worth of gift baskets that each performer received come from?
Why do you seek to demonize the G8 Leaders? Are they not the only ones who can do something about what you've been pushing for? If you can answer a few of these questions for me to ease my head-scratching woes, it would be duely appreciated.

Sincerly,
Kris Mortensen
An Unemployed White Canadian

Image Page!

Here we go kids!

I just spent the last little bit working on a Photos page for you guys. Now you can see what I look like and how I live in all my digital glory. Here's a sample:



The link for the main Photo Page can be found here. And if you don't want to look for this post everytime you want to check out the new images, just look to the right in the sidebar and you can find everything you need.

Enjoy!

Saturday, July 2, 2005

28 Sweet Movies

I've decided to start compiling a list of movies that I think everyone should see, fan of the pertaining genre or not. They are listed in no particular order with a quick explaination of why you should see them. They're just personal choices so even though I say that everyone should watch them at least once, I can't guarantee your enjoyment. If you'd like a more thorough synopsis or some more information on any of the movies on this lsit, feel free to contact me.

Movies listed with an asterisk are noted as being especially important or emotionally driven.

  • The Godfather (1972)|Why?
    Family, even mob families, are very important.


  • The Empire Strikes Back (1977)|Why?
    Han Solo is the most manly roughneck in existance, and he fucked Princess Leia!


  • Pukp Fiction (1994)|Why?
    Uncensored graphic violence, racist quips and drugs. And Phil LaMarr!


  • Raiders of the Lost Arc (1981)|Why?
    Re: Harrison Ford and Melting Nazis.


  • *To Kill A Mockingbird (1962)|Why?
    Atticus Finch defends a black man accused of raping a white girl in the deep American south. (Requires big balls)


  • Se7en (1995)|Why?
    Sinning is a great way to pass the time, Kevin Spacey plays a maniac.


  • Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)|Why?
    Random comedy is truly genious, and there's a savage killer bunny.


  • A Clockwork Orange (1971)|Why?
    Uncompromisingly evil to passively good, and the relationships between old friends and enemies.


  • Reservoir Dogs (1992)|Why?
    Best heist movie ever created.


  • Donnie Darko (2001)|Why?
    The Bunny


  • Sin City (2005)|Why?
    Simply the best comic book-to-movie adaptation ever done.


  • Forrest Gump (1994)|Why?
    Great story, great characters, loved the whole integration throughout history.


  • Full Metal Jacket |Why?
    Best Vietnam War movie ever. R. Lee Ermey made it a winner.


  • Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991)|Why?
    One of the best sequels to a B-Movie ever, great special effects even today.


  • Young Frankenstein (1974)|Why?
    Gene Wilder and Marty Feldman


  • *Gandhi (1982)|Why?
    Extremely powerful. A must see!


  • The Big Lewbowski (1998)|Why?
    The Dude is The Man when it comes to pissing awesomeness and sweating swooze.


  • The Exorcist (1973)|Why?
    One of the scariest flicks ever made.


  • The Last Remake of Beau Geste (1977)|Why?
    One of the funniest movies that no one's ever seen!


  • This Is Spinal Tap (1984)|Why?
    Improvisational comedy at it's absolute best.


  • Rain Man (1988)|Why?
    Strong preformance from D.Hoffman, great story.


  • Heat (1995)|Why?
    DeNiro and Pacino facing off.


  • Night of the Living (1968)|Why?
    Excellent social commentary and flesh-eating zombies.


  • Army of Darkness (1993)|Why?
    Best Comedy/Horror movie ever created, some of the best movie quotes of alltime are contained within.


  • *Ray (2004)|Why?
    Brilliant acting brings you into the life of Ray Charles.


  • *Life is Beautiful (1997)|Why?
    An unforgettable fable that proves love, family and imagination conquer all


  • House of Flying Daggers (2004)|Why?
    Amazing cinematography and visual conception. Great fight scenes as well.


  • Pink Floyd The Wall (1982)|Why?
    Awesome music, awesome visuals, trippy story.


That's all for now folks.

Friday, July 1, 2005

July the First!

HAPPY CANADA DAY!



I am of course very proudly Canadian, so have a good 137th!